Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Want to go Home

I'm too old for this. I had a perfectly wonderful life at home. The best friends one person could ask for. Lloyd had the best friend he may ever meet in his whole entire life. I had shops I loved to go to where people knew me. There were great restaurants we could go to and people knew us. I have never felt so alone. Ever. I am so sad it's ridiculous and I'm tired of being positive and waiting for it to all get good again. I am so tired.

I know I'll make new friends but they will never, ever replace the ones I already have. At home. Where I want to be. I know we'll have another great house someday and great shops and great restaurants and all that but I just don't want to hear it right now! Because everything was fine. Just. The. Way. It. Was...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my poor girl!
I loved getting all those pictures the other day. It was so strange though; the clapboard house, Greg in yachtie gear... I really had to kick myself to remember you weren't just a couple of bridges away! The building of a life is such a lot of work; I remember the first year we were here I hope you can take some time off from it - join something or take a class, where you can think your own thoughts without having to explain yourself to anyone.
I miss you, we all miss you. I am sending you all the love, prayers and positive thoughts I can muster. The miles don't matter, you are still my dear, dear friend.
love, Beth

kimberlyj222 said...

Oh Sandra, it breaks my heart to read your most recent post.... but your emotions should be looked at as a testament to all the wonderful experiences you've (we've) been lucky enough to have and will have again. Some go through life never, ever having experienced true and honest friendship...or a community where at any given day or time.. someone shots out... "Hey Sandra.. how have you been..it's been so long"... You've had that.. and you are lucky enough where you will have it again.. with another wonderful group of great friends and family...

I'd be remiss if I didn’t admit that it greatly saddens me that the reality is that you and Greg and Lloyd are not right around the corner.. or are not available at a moment's notice (which you always were...)..

Again, it breaks my heart to read you latest post... but it doesn't worry me... it would worry me if you were not sad... or if you were not mourning you old life here in Newport RI...

We love and miss you all..
Us, Botelhos