Misfit

I went to a pilates class today at a new studio.  Wow, did that feel good.

There were two other ladies in the class.  I smiled at each of them as they entered. Nothing.  I smiled at them when the class was over thinking maybe I could engage one or both of them in a brief conversation.  Nothing.  Would not meet my eyes. That did NOT feel good.

I was broadsided with loneliness.

I took my time putting my shoes on hoping those two would catch the elevator and I would catch the next trip down but that's not what happened.  Instead, upon leaving the studio, my eyes a bit unclear because of the tears, I tripped on the stairs.  My glasses went flying off my head and I very nearly plunged head first down the last four steps.  Those two ladies were there at the bottom of the steps waiting for the elevator.

Nothing.  Not a glance.

Wow.

I'm over it, trust me.  I just find it very sad.  Yeah, yeah, yeah that's life in the city but come on.  Would it have killed them to smile back at me?  Of course not.  Might've even made them feel good, too.  Sheesh.

If someone smiles at you -- smile back!  Better yet, smile at someone/say good morning/whatever and see what response you get.  If you get nothing, I suppose that's their problem.  It's certainly not yours.

HeliSkiing

Yesterday morning, I read my emails, checked FB and scanned the news on my phone as I do.  I read that there had been an awful accident in the South Island involving a group of men who had gone heliskiing.  The helicopter crashed in the side of the mountain and one of the men was killed.  The others have injuries from which they'll survive.  The article said the men were from St Paul's, the church Lloyd and I have been going to.

I texted my friend Felicity who has been going to St Paul's for years and years to ask if she knew any of the people involved, in particular the man who died.  I never in ten thousand million years thought I would know any of them as it seems every time there's a social event at church I'm either already busy, throwing up or have put my back out and can't move.

Felicity texted back to say the man killed was Xavier's dad from Lloyd's rugby team.  Jerome Box.

I knew him.  Lloyd knew him. Greg knew him.

Every rugby season, he made it his personal mission to get at least one action photo of each player and email them to us.  He came and toured ECLIPSE when it was in the water with a few of the other men from the team.  He and Greg talked about going boating this summer.

And now he's dead.  Just like that.

There is grace enough for today (turns out there was grace enough for yesterday, too).  Lloyd and I went to church and praised the Lord.  It was a really great service; they handled the telling of the news to everybody very well and we were led in prayer for Jerome's wife Adelle and his two children.  We prayed for the men who survived.  We prayed for their families.  The speaker cut his sermon short so we could just talk to each other and be together.

Lloyd's youth group talked about it; he said they all cried.  And then they each wrote a letter to either Xavier or his sister Brianna.  How beautiful.

In the afternoon, Greg, Lloyd and I went for a walk in Cornwall Park.  Wouldn't you know it's lambing season!  And we saw one who had been just born.  Fantastic!

See?  There is indeed grace enough for today.

Oh MyAching Back

I've really done it this time.  I threw my back out yesterday.
We've got scaffolding up out the back... I have to bend down to clear it in order to access under the house where the washing machine is.
Whilst exiting this area yesterday, in a hurry, I bent down as usual and kind of twisted/turned as I went to stand upright and that's when it happened.  Seized up.  Very VERY painful.  It took all I had to get in the house.  I then crawled to the front room where I could do some stretching exercises.  That's what I usually do when my back is giving me trouble... Not this time.  I couldn't do a thing.
Rested the rest of the day with a hot water bottle on it.
I managed to get to the school to get Lloyd and his cousins.  Few steps, rest.  Breathe through the pain.  Repeat.  That was just getting to the car!
I spoke to a Physiotherapist (who has no appointments until Monday!!) who said just rest, keep warm, take pills.  When it's so acute, there's not much he'd be comfortable doing anyway.
Sadly, it's no different today so here I lie.
Lloyd and Greg are at rugby.  It's a sunshiny day and I had plans!!
And tomorrow I was to help serve food at the church lunch and make friends!
Sigh

Film

I went to a film this afternoon...

The New Zealand International Film Festival is going on right now.  This one was called First Cousin Once Removed; have you heard of it?  It was first released in 2012 at a film festival in New York I think.

It's a documentary spanning 5 years in the later life of Edwin Honig, the poet, professor and translator and his progression with Alzheimer's.  He was a professor at Brown University and the film opens in his room somewhere in Providence of all places in the world.  Who knew.  I certainly didn't.

It's well worth finding and watching.  Quite raw, quite honest.  Heartbreaking.  I recognized a few idiosyncracies.  Wept through the entire film.

http://www.nziff.co.nz/2014/auckland/first-cousin-once-removed/

Copy and past the link to your browser if you're interested.

Sometimes (like last night) I wish I had a job to go to that enabled me to go out after work for a drink.  No need to stop at home or anything like that, just go out directly after work with a friend or a brother or a sister.

It's okay.  I don't really wish that very much but...

I'm happy for Greg.  He's got a great job he loves and his brother is in a new job now, too, and this allows them to get together after work sometimes and how nice is that for him!?  Real nice.

The New Zealand International Film Festival is going on right now.  I went to see a film today and had a lovely conversation with the lady sitting next to me.

I take what I can get.

The church I go to is going to start hosting lunches at church every 6 weeks or so and has emailed a shout out for help:  food prep, serving, setting tables, etc so I've just emailed to say I'm keen.

Cool, right?