Not Meant To Be

We didn't get the house.

I've sat here for a bit just staring at the keyboard considering how to even begin describing the despicable (sp?) auction process but can't. I just can't. It makes me sick and I don't know how any realtor in this country sleeps at night.

Bidding started at $500,000 and finished at $672,000. Our last bid was for $671,000 even though we had promised each other we wouldn't go a dollar over $660,000. But, in the heat of the moment and with a realtor literally in your face and with the only other bidding couple mere inches away from you at the back of the room countering every single offer you make SECONDS after you've drawn your next breath... you find yourself sort of stepping outside yourself and doing something no sane person WOULD EVER DO!

Thank GOD we didn't get it. Because it's not worth even $660,000. (Our building inspector told me we'd need to put in about $100,000 to make the basement and FOUNDATION sound!)

My disappointment today is not because we didn't get that house. It's simply because I woke up this morning still not having a place to call my own. Blah blah blah. I'm even sick of writing about it.

The Lord has promised good to me. His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be. As long as life endures.

I'm so thankful for the constants in my life. Friends beyond compare. Husband beyond compare. A son who really couldn't be happier. The unfailing love of parents, distant and related by law. The sunrise every morning (come on, it's not silly... we take it for granted but I see the most amazing sky when I pull back the curtains in the morning).

I saw a pod of Orcas yesterday morning flipping sting rays high into the air! It was fantastic. Absolutely amazing. To be at the right place at the right time and see that. What a treat.

That's what's going to happen with a house. Right house, right time. Really, it is.

Auction

We've got an auction to go to Wednesday at 6:00pm. It's not as though I frequent them but I can assure those of you who live in the States, it will be unlike any auction you or I have ever been to.

This one if for a house!

So, I know most of you will be sound asleep Tuesday night when the auction is occurring but if you do find yourself awake, say a prayer for us as we bid for the possible next Yeo's Abode.

I'll keep you posted...

Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart; (and find us a house)
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art. (except for a house)
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,(and that we need a house)
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light. (mostly waking because we need a house)

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;(and some heat please, it's 55 INSIDE!)
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;(daughter)
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.(a dwelling... another word for house!)

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,(just a house please)
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:(an inheritance so we can buy a house?!?)
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,(and second is a house)
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.(no treasures, just a house)

High King of Heaven, my victory won,(and maybe win the auction this Wednesday!)
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!(warmth from the sun!!)
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,(but please oh please let us have a house)
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Happy

Webster's dictionary defines the word this way: enjoying or showing or marked by joy or pleasure.

Okay. I'll buy that. But what I was really looking for I guess you can't put into words. It's a feeling and those are so hard to describe.

But I miss it. However you want to describe it.

Being in a state of waiting for something to happen doesn't generally evoke that feeling, does it? The process of making friends in the midst of missing your lifelong friends doesn't generally evoke that feeling, does it? Being lost on a motorway miles from where you're supposed to be certainly does not evoke that feeling let me tell you!

And I'm not complaining; really I'm not. I just long for that feeling again and there's not much I can do about it but hope and wait for better days to come. These days aren't bad, don't get me wrong, but too often I find myself longing for days gone by.

When we get a house, when we get a house, when we get a house... I'll be happy again? Side splitting, falling over, laughing so hard I snort, skipping down the footpath happy? Try me. We'll see. Because then people will come visit?

You better!