A Prayer

For my niece in serious condition.

Psalm 143:11, 12

For Your name's sake, O Lord, preserve her life;
in your righteousness, bring her out of trouble.

In your unfailing love, silence her enemies;
destroy all her foes,
for she is Your servant.

Identity

School is back in session after six amazing summertime weeks off.

Anticipating the extra time on my hands, I applied for a job.  I was told I'd be hearing from them in a few days.  That was a week and a day ago.

Therefore I know (1) I didn't get the job.  (2) I never heard from them.

I think that's stink.  Really stink.

I've just got to get over it, I know.

So.  Here I am again with time on my hands and I find myself, yet again, struggling throughout the day with feelings of worthlessness.

There is, of course, a lesson in all of this.

Thankfully this story doesn't end with those feelings of worthlessness.  Because that's what they are.  Feelings  Just feelings.

What I know for a fact is I am far from worthless.  I have to keep this fact in the front of my mind every day and make every day count for something.  

This is the day the Lord has made; I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!

UPDATE...
I just received an email from the cafe where I applied for a job. Didn't get it. No surprise there and I'm pleased they followed up. Of course I can't help but wonder what I could've said or done differently that could have gotten me the job...  Perhaps nothing.  Not the right gig for me.

My Story

Well, I've splashed out and purchased myself a very flash, brand new, desktop computer.  It is my hope I will become more regular at posting now that I'm back to sitting at the desk.

I love the song My Story by Big Daddy Weave.  You'll have to look it up as I can't seem to copy the lyrics onto here.

He talks about the fact that to tell his story is to actually tell the testimony of God in his life.  "For to tell you my story is to tell of Him".

Hope that wouldn't let go...
Even when I was about as far away from Him as I could get.

Love that wouldn't give up...
Even when I was as unlovable as I could get.

Victory over the enemy!

Freedom won for me!

And grace, grace, God's grace.  Brand new every single day.

I'm so very thankful that my story doesn't begin or end with me; it's about the One who wrote my story before I was even born.

Perfect faithfulness, Isaiah 25:1
and
Unfailing love, Psalm 143:8

My story!

Game Changer

I haven't been given any hours at work this week.  Again.  Worked three days last week but now I'm back to a repeat of the week before.

Sigh.

I'm no good on my own for very long. I LOVE time by myself don't get me wrong; just not too much time. I guess we may all be like that to varying degrees. It's simply the way we've been created.

Well.  I've just discovered the world of Podcasts on my new phone! And YouTube! (if the Podcasts are too old)

Thanks to my brother for his recommendations, I've now got the inimitable Louie Giglio and the always inspiring Ravi Zacharias to keep me company, challenge my thinking and encourage my heart.

Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.

Let me know if you want some recommendations...

Unforgettable

Just spoke to my folks via Skype.  Isn't skype a wonderful thing?! Life would be very lonely without it. And FaceTime, and iMessage and text and email...!

At the end of our conversation, I said "I love you mom." And guess what.

She said "I love you too."

I can't remember the last time I heard her speak a sentence besides "I don't want to go" and today she said to me I love you too!!!!!

Wish I could've recorded it.  But that's alright; I can still hear those four beautiful words in my head.  If she is never able to speak them again, I can still hear her voice speak those four beautiful words in my head.

Mom

The night before my birthday last month I cried and cried and cried because I miss my mom.

She's still with us but Alzheimer's has her attention now more than I ever will again.

I completed another 100 Days Project not long ago.  Before it began, I had to come up with an idea (obviously).  I ended up calling it Surface Area and photographing a different surface, up close, every day for 100 days.

I was going to call it Remembering Mom and so began compiling a list of memories I have of her from growing up.  I enlisted the help of my siblings, too.  Please correct me if any of this is wrong.  And add a memory or two!

Remembering Mom
She was 21 when she got married.
She was 23 when she had me.
My older sister is older by a mere 14 months.
She is an only child.
Her dad was a sign painter.
Her mom is a nurse.
Her dad died of cancer.
Her mom is 94.
Her aunt died with Alzheimer's
She raised 4 children; my dad travelled a lot when we were little.
She was a figure skater as a child.
She taught me card games; we'd play before dinner.
She hated to iron; I'd do it for her.
She learned to cook after she married my dad.
She sang in the choir.
I loved her chocolate chip cookies.
She once tripped down the stairs and spilled spaghetti and meatballs everywhere and sprained her ankle.
She was a collector of many things.
She always had lots of friends.
She and my dad used to entertain often.
They had popcorn every Sunday night.
We always had a few family pets but she didn't like them much, or not for very long.
She used to talk on the phone for a long time.
She always made my bed first thing at camp, college, my new room.
She played tennis.
She's had the same hair stylist for at least 30 years.
She used to smoke.
She cries as easily as I do.
She has been to Ethiopia on a missions trip with my dad.
She was the first nurse at West Bay Christian Academy.
She took us to the Town Beach every single day as children; we loved it!
She was a prolific writer of cards and letters.  My sister's friends called her "the card queen".
I heard her say "wait until your father gets home" a lot.
She served us grilled cheese and tomato soup every Saturday afternoon for a very long time.  I hate both to this day.
She was an avid reader.
She loves to laugh.
She took us to the library in the summer.
She used to cook us spam.
She loves her coffee!
She would stand at the window during snowstorms looking out for my dad and then play and sing "You Light Up My Life" when he'd walk in the door.
She loves music.
She loved to sunbathe.
She used to teach bible studies.
She was chairwoman of committees at church.
She used to put notes in our lunch bags.
She would tape the nickel for milk to our napkin.
She once wrapped our Christmas presents in white paper and beautifully stencilled every single one of them.
She would take us girls to the Nutcracker ballet at Christmastime.

I'd give anything to be able to call her and have a chat.  Or open the mailbox and see her handwriting on a card.  Or to hug her and have her hug me back.  Yes, I'm thankful she's still there to hug but... now the hugs still leave me lonely for my mom.

Church Home

I think we've FINALLY found it!

St Paul's in the city.  They have an instagram site:  http://instagram.com/stpaulsauckland where you can see what it's like sort of.

You'll also see a photo of me there!

I have signed myself up to be part of the lunch team.  Once a month we transform the place and provide lunch after the 11:00 service (about 500 people!).

Yesterday, we prepared and cooked 5x hams, sliced I don't know how many rolls, prepared chutneys and other condiments.  So much work and I was SO happy every minute of it.  Really, really cool to see what goes on behind the scenes; the dedication of these people is very impressive.

And now I know people and people know me.

AND...

Lloyd and I are going to Youth Camp!  http://www.campbentzon.co.nz/photos.htm
3 - 7 October.  We're going over in speed boats and the activities planned sound amazing.  I'll have a group of children I'm in charge of for the time we're there -- Gulp!  There will be about 25 of us adults going.  Greg said Lloyd could go only if he (yeah right) or I go with him.  You can't go as a hanger-on so I had to agree to assume a leadership position.  When I emailed to inquire, just that morning someone had to pull out so a space had opened up -- cool, right?  It's a God thing.  He's amazing like that.

More about camp when I know more.

And here we are.  Monday morning.  Last week of school before holidays for two weeks.  Bring it on!

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